The Secret to 50 Years of Marriage

Time for an update. I’ve not written my column for a while because of health issues. The first thing I want to do is say thank you to our children and grandchildren for the wonderful party they gave us for our 50th wedding anniversary. Next, thank you to all who attended the party, sent us cards, and extended their congratulations.

We’ve been asked at times what our secret is for being married 50 years. As other couples who have been wed for 50 years or more will tell you, there really is no secret. For us it was taking life one day at a time and having a strong faith. Just before we were married, a priest gave us two very important pieces of advice. He said it’s easier to love than to like -- that we would always love each other but we would find times we didn’t like each other. And that we should never, ever ignore each other because ignoring another person is the greatest insult there is.

We had and still do have a rule that if we get mad at each other, we find a way to work out our anger, then after a bit we would sit down to discuss why we were mad and how to solve the problem.

Now to health. In November and then again last week, I had an injection in each eye to halt the bleeding that was occurring. I have one more round of injections. Hopefully, the bleeding will stop and then my cataracts will be removed.

I am still on chemotherapy. However, it is still through a pill rather than infusion. My appetite is still very weak and my energy level is low. I will be seeing my oncologist on Dec. 21, and will know then what the next step is.

And now one last thought.

Faster than we know, we will celebrate Christmas. The hurry-scurry time shopping for presents will increase daily. While thinking about this, a few ideas crossed my mind.

In addition to the usual donations we usually make this time of year, why not extend those donations? The food bank constantly receives requests for cleaning products, personal hygiene items, disposable diapers and paper products. All of these are items that must be purchased by the food bank. So how about the next time you contribute a nonperishable item for the food bank, you add a package of paper towels, or dish detergent, or a tube of toothpaste, or a hair brush? The list is unending.

Perhaps you could buy a coloring book and crayons or a book to give to a child who seldom receives such things. The fun part would be doing this at Easter or Halloween or Fourth of July instead of just at Christmas. Can’t you just see a little girl’s eyes light up at being given some new barrettes or headbands? There are ways of getting these gifts to children without them knowing who it came from.

Maybe you could purchase school supplies and give them to a school that constantly struggles to see that each child has what they need for school. Even giving a sports coach a few dollars to provide snacks for a team will be appreciated far more than you realize.

Why not celebrate Christmas all year long? Or instead of having your New Year’s resolution be to lose weight, make your resolution be one of helping others in small ways.