There's More to Marriage than Rings

A few days ago I heard of a young couple who had just gotten engaged. What an exciting moment in their lives. And a memory that will last a lifetime.

But there’s so much more to getting married than just a set of rings and planning a wedding.

Years ago a priest told me that everyone plans for a wedding. He said he wished they spent as much time preparing for the marriage.

But that is an impossible task. There really isn’t a way to completely prepare for marriage. Yes, you can help prepare for it by going to premarital classes.

What you can’t prepare for is what happens during your marriage, the same as you can’t prepare for what will happen during your life if you choose to remain single.

My husband and I have been married for 48 years. We both came from famillies who had been through hard times, so in a way we did have an idea of how tough life can be at times. His family went through the Great Depression. My father and mother came from coal mining families. My dad was also a coal miner, starting work in the mines at age 11.

However, finances are only a part of marriage that must be dealt with. There’s the all important part of communication. Talking about everything happening. Making decisions together. Sharing responsibilities. That also includes daily household chores.

I’ve never saw it written anywhere that a husband can’t lend his wife a hand with even the most mundane parts of housekeeping.

And, if couples so choose, there are the children and their upbringing. Parents must be in accord over discipline, setting guidelines for their children -- guidelines that will help them grow up to be responsible, caring, giving, compassionate adults.

Children really do learn by example. They see what their parents do. How they settle disagreements, what they do to help their communities and neighbors, how they behave towards others and what they say about them.

It’s from parents that children learn about life skills -- handling their money properly, what it takes to maintain their home, learning how to cook and clean, how to take care of children, how to handle problems when they arise.

When a couple gets married, the thought of one or the other one of them getting sick and needing care most likely doesn’t enter their minds. It not only can but does happen. Little does the thought of how hard facing a situation can be where one of them is totally disabled. Even should the husband or wife be able to remain at home while recuperating or taking treatments, taking care of them and keeping a multitude of medical appointments can be totally time and energy consuming.

It’s true weddings are beautiful and exciting, filled with love and laughter. Marriage can be just as beautiful and exciting.

Marriage demands your entire being -- all of your time, energy, and strength. It requires your complete and constant commitment. It’s not a 9 to 5 job. Or 40 hours a week. It’s your every waking and breathing moment.

Your married life can be filled with love, joy, pleasure, laughter, satisfaction and wonderful memories. Difficult times can be overcome through your combined strength. But only if you are both fully and completely committed to making your marriage successful.

May your week be filled with blessings and joy.