Serving Proudly As The Voice Of Valley County Since 1913

Defining 'Puffery'

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has decreed that - in law, Puffery is a promotional statement or claim that expresses subjective rather than objective views, which no “reasonable person” would take literally. Whaaat? Seem that the FTC says it is perfectly ok if your Italian BMT doesn’t look anything like the picture of the one hanging on the wall menu. See, the one on the wall shows about a half pound of meat along with a whole garden salad of veggies and a huge assortment of cheese. The thing is so stuffed with BMT that the bun gapes open like a two dollar suitcase showing a hefty three inches of stuffing. Absolutely nothing like the one you unwrapped in the car on the way to grannies house for Christmas.

Another daffynition of Puffery is that “it serves to ‘puff up’ an exaggerated image of what is being described and is especially featured in testimonials.”

In a 2000, absurd lawsuit Pizza Hut sued Papa John’s because PJ claimed “better ingredients, better pizza.” It was tossed out by the Supremes (not those Supremes, c’mon) because, they said, the claim would be very difficult to disprove. The slogan was a very light form of Puffery.

Brazil banned all billboard advertisement because of the constant usage of Puffery saying that the ban would “increase the quality of their citizens lives.”

Here in the good ol’ permissive US of A wouldn’t TV be boring if Puffery was banned? If corporations were forced to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Why, when a miracle drug is hyped on TV extolling the myriad healing virtues is there 14 lines of unreadable disclaimer flashed on the screen? Why indeed you ask. Here’s why in a one-word shutnell: lawyers.

I recently had a conversation with a representative of my phone carrier. I was curious about why I have to resubmit a claim every year to be able to get my “old guy” discount. Do the phone company folks think I get younger every year? I do get prettier every year but not younger. The rep told me I was paying 81 bucks and change for land line and internet. I told her I had never paid 81 dollars and change for this service. It has always been in the 90 dollar range. She said the 81 bucks was before taxes.

Folks, when I ask someone how much I’m supposed to pay for something I want the bottom line! I don’t want to hear the Puffery price. I don’t want to hear about added taxes and other add-on charges. Give it to me exactly how I’m supposed to write the check.

The FTC also wrote that “Puffery may be tolerated" to an extent as long as it doesn’t amount to misrepresentation (false claim of possessing certain positive attributes or of not possessing certain negative attributes). What could be more misleading than the picture of your favorite burger and the one you actually get?

When I see an ad in the paper or on a flyer for a hernia truss for $29.99 and I get to the store and the clerk rings up $45.99 I’m confused and ask “why?” The clerk is trained to tell me “Oh, that’s after the 15 dollar mail-in rebate” that was mentioned in the ultra-fine fine print. I’m not a great fan of the mail-in rebate but that’s another story for a cold winter night by the fireplace.

Puffery, no matter how you soften it with cutsey words is still crookery in my book friends.

Puffery was prevalent in all the political testimonials from candidate backers and sponsors. The more flowery testimonials garner the more cushy jobs should the speaker’s words help the candidate get elected.

So the next time you would like to mess with someone simply go into your favorite fast food place and tell the hapless teenage worker you are with the food police and that you want your burger or BMT or taco or pizza pie to look just exactly as it does in the picture on the wall menu.

Today’s program brought to you by Itsa Sunamie’s sushi bar and Swedish massage parlor “where you’ll always get a raw deal with no Puffery.” (Think about that one!).

That’s it for now folks. Thanks for listening

 

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