Serving Proudly As The Voice Of Valley County Since 1913

One-Eyed Jack And Paybacks

Enough pollyticks for awhile. I have a true story in the trucking vein I thought you might enjoy. The sequence of events happened back in the day about 1972 or so. You must forgive me if some of the facts aren’t.

There are two different styles of semi trucks: conventional and cab-over. The conventional (long-nose) is the most popular because they have a far smoother ride that do the COEs. (Trucking manufacturers’ jargon for “Cabin-Over-Engine,” thus “cab-over.”)

Before the 1970s most of the long haul trucks were conventionals but a new trucking regulation in several or more states passed, limiting total truck/trailer length to 55 feet. Companies and owner/operators across the country were forced to sell their conventionals and buy cab-overs to comply with the law.

With a conventional truck you can check the oil by unlatching the hood on both sides and lifting the hood to a point where it lays over to the front held from toppling all the way by a couple springs. This is the way you get to the engine to do mechanic work as well.

With the cab-over the oil is checked with a very long dip stick through the grill. Eazy-peazy. But if you have to do engine work the cab must be jacked up hydraulically to about 45 degrees where there is a safety stop to keep it from crashing back down and possibly breaking a fingernail. For major repairs the cab can be carefully tilted all the way over so the windshield is pointing straight down at the floor.

And now, with all the technical stuff out of the way I can continue with my story, embarrassing as it may be.

See, friends, truckers are always playing pranks on one another and the camaraderie of the open road is a great thing to experience … sometimes. Like the time I almost caused One-eyed-Jack (CB code name) to flat line. (Seems I did cause him a bit of bowel discomfort requiring some Febreze and a laundrymat).

We were hauling cattle 24/7 in Colorado and about the only time we caught any sleep was a short catnap at a wide spot along the road. Usually a trucker will pull off the road, leave his clearance lights on and the engine running while he drapes himself over the steering wheel for 20 minutes or so.

And thus was One-eyed-Jack along the road near Rifle one dark and stormy night. I saw his truck just in time so’s I had time to pull off the road for a short visit. I saw he was slumped over the steering wheel and sound asleep so I thought it would be lotsa fun to park my cab-over so we would be facing each other about three feet apart and then gently (or not) blow my air horn.

He was driving a cab-over too so when he awoke from a troubled, groggy sleep with the engine running the first thing he saw was me with a horrified look on my face which, as I said, was about a yard from his petrified face. I saw him trying to wake up, trying to turn the steering wheel and saw him trying to stomp on the brake to avert the impending crash … then I saw him fully wake up and realize that he must, MUST strangle the diabolical prankster in the other truck.

I swiftly backed my truck up and maneuvered around his before he could climb out and kill me. He did manage to pound a few holes in the cab of my truck and my trailer before I built up enough steam to escape the mad-man.

The boss asked me what I did to One-eyed-Jack. When I related the story, Boss thought it very funny indeed but said I should probably avoid Jack for the next few years.

I found out later that pay-backs can truly be a “batch.” ( Oops! Please excuse the typo.)

I was peacefully sleeping in the sleeper of my cab-over sometime after the aforementioned incident when I felt some movement. I was waiting for a load of cows that wouldn’t be ready until the next day so I had the opportunity to turn off the engine and get some real sleep. But not before going to the Alibi Club in Montrose for a toddy or two to help me get to sleep.

When I got fully awake I realized that some joker, or several jokers were jacking up the cab of my truck. Up, up, up it went with me trying to get a foothold on something so’s I could at least get my pants on before I had to bail out. But instead of coming to a stop at 45 degrees where it would have been possible to get presentable before I could climb out of the cab, my “friends” tilting the truck decided it would be great fun to tip it all the way over so finally there I was, standing on the windshield trying to get dressed.

About that time a very short skirt fell on my head and then came a Dolly-Parton-Wig out of the sleeper above me and I’m wondering, “What the hell.” Then a body came crashing down from above. Seems it was the cocktail waitress from my shameful debacle and drunken spree the night before and she wasn’t real happy with the situation either.

It took five men and a boy to lift the cab back up and get it so that I and my “temporary missus” could get out through the door which we did to the applause and hooting and hollering of an appreciative crowd led by ol’ One-Eyed-Jack hisownself.

As I said before paybacks can be … well, you know.

That’s it for now, folks. Thanks for listening.

 

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