Don't Stay Silent

It's a subject of shame to some families, but it should be nothing to be ashamed of. The words suicide, depression and mental health issues holds such a stigma that people cringe, they avoid talking about it and change the subject when it arises. As part of National Suicide Prevention Month, I hope everyone takes at least five minutes to Google the facts.

Imagine feeling alone, overwhelmed and fearful and covering it up with a smile. Those who suffer depression and think about suicide often suffer in silence. Montana has one of the highest suicide rates in the nation. Sometimes there's warning and signs of trouble, other times you may be taken by surprise.

Suicide has impacted my family directly. While our story may have ended with a happier ending than most, my experience with it has forever changed not only the way I treat people, but the way I look at mental illness. My sister went through a very trying time out of high school. She dropped out in the first year of college and began to drink. I was still in high school and uneducated on suicide, on depression and on the dangers that lurked.

I won't ever forget the first time I found my sister. It is forever etched into my memory. When I approached my parents on the subject they had a sort of denial. They couldn't believe that I told them she had tried to commit suicide. My biggest mistake was not helping my sister seek help. Instead we avoided the hospital, we told only one friend who promised he's stay with her for a few days and I mentioned to my parents there might be a problem. I didn't take it as serious as I should have.

Eventually my sister did seek help for her depression. She went on some medication to help and for a time all was well. The pressures of life seemed to press on and the side effects of the drugs didn't seem worth it. She stopped taking her medications. It only took a week to spiral out of control, only a week for the blow up to occur. She ended up downing an entire bottle of medication to end her pain, I wasn't aware until her lips starting to turn blue. At this time I had graduated high school and I lived with my sister in a tiny one bedroom apartment.

I remember my heart racing as I reached for the phone and dialed 911. I couldn't believe that this was real, that this was happening and that I perhaps failed as a sister to see the signs. As the emergency vehicles pulled up, a family friend came, he was a police officer, a distant cousin showed up as an ambulance driver, a fire truck pulled up and we knew the names to the men who jumped out of the truck. A sense of shame washed over me and my sister was embarrassed. It was our cousin that called my parents. While I was aware there was a problem, they were getting a shocking phone call.

I look back at that day and think that day changed us all and saved my sister's life. It hasn't been an easy road. She's moved on in her life and is now doing better, but she still stumbles and still struggles with depression. I have now learned that there isn't any shame involved with mental illness, it's all a matter of science and circumstances. Some of us have chemicals in our brain that don't allow those feel good chemicals to take effect. Some of us are born to struggle.

Suicide is real. It's often not reported in the paper out of respect for the families dealing with it. I think it's time we take the stigma away and instead start speaking out, we start educating and we start giving out helping hands to those in trouble. It's a fact that anyone can prevent suicide. It's also a fact that talking with someone about suicide or depression won't increase the risks.

A person dies every 14 minutes in our great nation from suicide, according to numbers from 2010. Everyone probably knows someone, even if by a distant association who has committed suicide with those kinds of numbers. I've also lost a few high school classmates to suicide. He was picked on a lot during high school, I may have said hello to him in the hallways, but I never took the time to listen and to be a friend. It still haunts me to this day.

What you can do is to pay attention to your friends and family. If they're struggling feel free to show concern, listen to what they have to say and if they express a desire to harm themselves seek help. Don't take it lightly. Suicide doesn't discriminate in age, race or gender. Suicides have increased over the last decade and it's the second leading cause of death on college campuses.

The state suicide prevention website can be found at http://www.prc.mt.gov/suicideprevention, or you call 1-800-273-TALK. If there's immediate danger call 911.