I am saddened by the loss of our mother, however, I did not lose her yesterday, I lost her over 10 years ago to alcoholism and have missed her everyday since. (She passed in November 2013)
I am so grateful to have had the last few weeks to reconnect, forgive and to just be with her and hear her say, “I love you.” It meant everything to me.
I have a lot of good memories from my childhood with her. Like snowy walks in the dark, chasing hot air balloons just to watch them land, inside jokes, spam kabobs, hot cocoa by candle when the power went out, and back scratches with those long beautiful nails of hers.
My mom made me who I am today. I am a good mother because of her mistakes. I love to laugh. I am strong and stubborn, just like her. I have been told that I have her smile, the kind that makes your eyes smile, too. I will cherish that forever. She will live on through me, my siblings and her grandchildren. Every time I see her picture I will smile.
Just as I have, I hope you can all learn something from my mom, too. I know she touched a lot of people. Remember to call your children, tell people you love them often and ask for help if you need it. It’s never too late. If you know someone, or are someone, who needs help, there is help available. You may even find support where you thought you no longer had it. I wish my mom had that.
Mom, I love you. I am so happy that you have now found peace. Sleep well, and until we meet again I will carry you with me in my smile and my heart.
Julie Mock Gutow