The Glasgow Courier - Serving Proudly As The Voice Of Valley County Since 1913

By Virgil Vaupel
Thanks For Listening 

Kid Talk With An Old Geezer


We live in a world where we are constantly coming up with things that will afford more protection from everyday life for this nation's children.

That said … My confusion heightens. Please stay tuned.

Back in the day there were hundreds of young children dying from a mysterious cause. Someone with a lot more knowledge of chemistry and doctor stuff than I, discovered that lead, when infused into ones body isn't a very good thing. Especially for the young. And from whence came the lead?

In the paint found on nearly every crib, bassinet and baby bed, and on the walls of every nursery in the country. This discovery led to lead free paint which led to a law prohibiting lead free paint which saved lots of young lives.

Back in the day when almost any one could open a pill bottle with one eye tied behind their back, there were numerous or more child deaths from drug overdoses when “little Billy” broke into mommie's stash of Valium and quickly doffed the lid and sampled the contents.

This discovery led to laws requiring “child-proof” caps on all prescription drug vials and bottles, which led to a dramatic drop in accidental childhood over-doses.

(At my advanced age I sometimes find these “child-proof” bottles to be quite “geezer proof,” as well).

Toy manufacturers are constantly under a barrage of government laws and regulations regarding the safety of their products in regards to the young folks who will be the end users. No lead painted toys and nothing removable small enough for a small child to swallow. i.e. buttons for eyes on a teddy bear.

Every movie and TV program has to include a disclaimer that “the following content may not be appropriate for anyone under 13 years old.” We're protecting these kids from stuff they can view every night on the NBC Nightly News!

Then there's the seatbelt regulations and car seat laws. There must be 500 pages of law describing the usage of seat belts and car seats for our young citizens.

There's even a law from way back that states a cartoon character – such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and all the others that get depicted with hands – can only have three fingers and a thumb on each hand. I guess this protects the young from thinking that a mouse is similar to a human in some degree.

And to protect the young from violence the Coyote can no longer fall a thousand feet into the canyon and have a box of explosives from the TNT Explosives Co. fall on him and smash him to smithereens while the Roadrunner says “Beep, Beep” and smokes off into the sunset. (And Coyote appears unscathed in the very next scene.) This would somehow desensitize death to the young mind.

With all the things we strive to do, daily, to protect our young children, the myriad laws and regulations written for the sole purpose of protecting the young from physical and mental injury my confusion is this.

Why are 6-year-old children playing football?

That's it for now folks. Thanks for listening.

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